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Walk With Your Neighbor
Genesis 18:1-15; Romans 5:1-8
Father’s Day/Stephen Ministry Commissioning
Betty Berghaus
Hear this Father’s Day poem, by David A. Olds:
Our fathers toil with hands and heart
To make our lives complete.
They quietly brave the winter cold,
Endure the summer heat.
Our fathers’ lives are busy, but
There’s always time for us.
They boldly face the ups and downs
And seldom ever fuss.
Our fathers are the greatest dads
We know you know this too.
But thank you for the chance to share
Our love for them with you.
Our Old Testament story today is a father’s story. Abraham and Sarah so desperately wanted a child. But they could not conceive, and in their desperation, Sarah had given her servant, Hagar, to Abraham, to bear a son. And Ishmael was born to Hagar when Abraham was 86 years old. By the time he was 99, and Sarah was 90, Abraham probably had given up on bearing a son with his wife, and she probably had little desire for this either. But God appeared to the 99-year-old Abraham and told him of this covenant, that God would make Abraham “exceedingly fruitful” and “make nations” of him. He told Abraham that Sarah would bear a son. And the elderly Abraham fell on his knees and laughed! (Genesis 17)
Just a little while later, on a hot day, Abraham sat under the oak trees near his tent, and three strangers approached. A very hospitable man, the text says that the 99-year-old “ran to meet them and bowed down to the ground” (v.2), and he addressed them as “my lord.” This does not mean that he recognized them as divine. He was just acting as hospitable as one was expected to in that culture and that day and age. Abraham treated these strangers royally, though, with cakes of the best flour and the best meat. He took care of them as he would have any strangers passing through, and seemed very glad to do so.
But then the story got interesting! These strangers asked where his wife was. “In the tent,” said Abraham. One of the men then said what must have seemed very odd to Abraham. These strangers knew nothing of their disappointment. And yet he told Abraham that his wife would bear a son. This was the first sign to Abraham that these strangers were not just the usual travelers. Sarah, who was very old, overheard this declaration, and thinking that she was hidden away in the tent, laughed! But the stranger, or rather, as the text says, the Lord, heard her. So these three strangers were now identified as holy messengers, perhaps as God. After our study of the Trinity a few weeks back, maybe we can count this as the first appearance of the Trinity in the Bible! So, this 3-person-Lord asked why Sarah laughed, and declared nothing to be too wonderful for the Lord! The word for “wonderful” can also be translated as “too hard,” or as “impossible.” So nothing is impossible with God! Even a 90-year-old woman can bear a son, as Sarah did, the scriptures tell us. She bore a son named Isaac, which means “he laughs!” So Abraham and Sarah’s reaction to God doing the impossible was to laugh!
I think maybe it takes faith to laugh, at least as Abraham and Sarah laughed. They could have snorted and said, “Go away, that’s impossible!” They could have been very discouraged after being promised a progeny, and yet knowing they were too old to humanly bear children. They could even have been angry at this impossible statement after so many years of waiting. Or they could have been scared. (I think I would be scared if someone told me even now, at my age, that I was going to have a baby!) And yet they laughed! Laughter is generally a happy reaction, and indicates a joyful nature. So these two elderly people laughed at the impossible and astonishing news. And in doing this they perhaps displayed a faith that could laugh in the face of discouragement!
In some ways, perhaps that is the strength of faith that Paul talked of in Romans, when he said that “we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us” (Romans 5:3-5).
For, both of these passage hint of struggles. We know that Sarah did not always laugh. She, in despair over her barrenness, gave Hagar to Abraham to bear a child, and she later, in frustration and perhaps jealousy, asked Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away. So she was not always happy or even faithful. And neither are we. Paul, one who was tormented by his past, and by something he referred to as a “thorn in the flesh,” could see past the times of suffering and see a movement towards hope and faith and trust in God.
In most every life, there will be those times of suffering, those dark nights of despair. We may lose a job, or lose a loved one. We may receive a dreaded diagnosis, and face months, or even years, of treatment. Or we, or someone we love, may be injured and endure months of rehabilitation. There are many trials that come our way. Those who know no suffering or despair in life are rare these days. Even if suffering does not touch our lives, we can look at the news and realize that suffering is a part of life.
And so Paul says that the suffering produces endurance, that endurance produces character, and that character produces hope. That one sentence and those nine words can in no way convey the time and the anguish it may take to move from suffering to hope. It is not easy, and it is not quick. And sometimes that movement is beyond our abilities to accomplish alone. Perhaps most of the time that movement is beyond our abilities to accomplish alone! And, that kind of reassurance, that what we are going through will produce character, is not usually very helpful when we are in the midst of our suffering. “Oh, you’ll be stronger for this! Wait and see!” usually makes us want to reach out and punch the one who says that to us!
Sometimes when we are in the midst of despair, we need help to find our way back to hope. And that is precisely why we train lay people as Stephen Ministers. They are not professional counselors, but they are trained to listen, and they are also trained not to try to fix problems. They sit with folks who are working their way slowly from despair back to faith and hope. Stephen Ministry is a compassionate act. It gives the gift of listening, true listening. We rarely really listen to someone. When we think we are listening, we often have our own agendas tugging at us. We think about the chores we have to get done before the day is over as our neighbor stops us to talk across the fence as we head towards the car. We try to think of a solution for our daughter who comes to us with a problem. But we rarely just listen. Stephen Ministers do, and that is a gift that can heal. It may take many weeks or months, but having someone to listen and care unconditionally can help us to heal our own wounds. We talk to Stephen Ministers about not getting into the pit of despair with their care receivers, for if they are both in the pit, neither can get out. But we anchor them with good listening skills, with prayer and faith, and with the confidential peer supervision that lets them express their concerns and doubts, and then go back to the care receiver with a quiet confidence and assurance.
And so this day we commission Stephen Ministers who are ready to help folks move from suffering back towards hope. We commission folks who are acting as hospitable as Abraham did, not with food, but rather with the act of listening and sitting with folks whose very souls are hurting.
So, when you are suffering so deeply that you cannot move beyond it, seek help. Come to one of the pastors or staff here, or ask for a Stephen Minister, or go to a professional counselor. It is not weak to seek help. Asking for help actually displays strength, for if we live as God intends us to, we live, as does God, in community. And community can provide us with resources that can help to restore us to wholeness. Our Father God desires for us, and surely so do all good fathers desire for their children, as we celebrate this Father’s Day, a wholeness of life that can respond, as did Abraham and Sarah, with the pure joy of laughter in the face of the impossible, and with a faith that trusts God throughout all of life.
Paul reminds us that, though we are weak, God in Christ died for us. One can imagine the father who, seeing his child drowning in the lake, dives in the save her, does so, but ends up drowning himself. And yet Christ’s death was not an accident but an intentional act on God’s part, an act that showed us the greatest depth of love. Christ entered fully into our human experience, entering the world as anyone does, by birth from a mother’s womb, and dying, as a young adult, a painful death. Such a God fully understands our suffering, and our need to progress from suffering to hope. It is indeed the death and resurrection of the Christ that enables us to move back to hope, as we believe in a God that is stronger than the evils on earth, and stronger than death. Surely, if we must boast, says Paul, we can boast in this great love of God for us. And we can act in faith.
This day we give thanks for fathers who live in faith and who nurture their children in faith. And we celebrate Stephen Ministers who help us to walk through the struggles of life, and to find again the hope that God promises us. God is with us, even in the struggles. And God can surprise us, as Abraham and Sarah were surprised, when we least expect it. So, welcome the stranger, walk with your neighbor. And may the God of love and hope and peace surprise you!
Amen.